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  1. #11

    Default Re: 2 years on from loosing him and I still feel guilty

    You took a chance and did not win out not something to feel guilty about.
    It's just that it's the worse way to lose a horse .
    I have my guilt horse I still can't really think of her if it comes into my head I just think of something else .
    I don't know if you have other horses but I do if I had not think it would have driven me to distraction it's many years ago now but the weight that comes over me even now is awful .
    There's no right answer here you feel bad there's no reason to feel bad but you do time does reduce it .

  2. #12
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,922

    Default Re: 2 years on from loosing him and I still feel guilty

    It sounds like if you hadn't have tried it you would have always been wondering 'what if?' And its a stage of grief to try and process events, so it's very natural what is happening to you. You tried veterinary treatment for a horse and sadly it didn't have a happy outcome, but you did everything you could and sometimes events don't work out and it can be difficult to deal with. But I think if you hadn't done it, you would have always wondered could he have come right with more treatment.

  3. #13

    Default Re: 2 years on from loosing him and I still feel guilty

    You did what you thought was best at the time. I had a similar thing with an elderly cat he had bad lumps that needed to be removed, I didn't want to put him through op for nothing but lump test was ok and vet thought he would recover. Then after his op, a removed lump that had a more thorough test was cancer so he ended up being put to sleep anyway. I felt bad putting him through that but I had other information at the time. If you thought there was a chance to help the animal of course you would try it.

  4. #14
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    4,437

    Default Re: 2 years on from loosing him and I still feel guilty

    I agree with everyone else, you did what you thought was best a the time, and if it had worked out differently that would have been wonderful. I am sure we've all been there with our horses and pets, we have an enormous responsibility to them, and we care deeply about doing the right thing, that is why we are plagued by this uncertainty (I feel anyway)

  5. #15
    Schoolmaster
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    597

    Default Re: 2 years on from loosing him and I still feel guilty

    Thanks everyone. I had already had discussions with vet day before and he said if infection came back then there was nothing more that could be done. So when it did happen the decision had already been made. It's true if we hadn't tried to fix him I would be full of what ifs. He was so distressed when I went to see him I just wanted it over for him.

  6. #16
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    4,437

    Default Re: 2 years on from loosing him and I still feel guilty

    It sounds like it was a really heartbreaking time for you, with some luck things could have been quite different. I still think about my mare that I lost in April 2015 to EAM, the "what ifs" and "if onlys" are hard to shake.

  7. #17
    Schoolmaster
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    597

    Default Re: 2 years on from loosing him and I still feel guilty

    I lost my other horse 7 months before that. He reinsured his tendon. Then got colic on box rest (probably as a result of the danilon he needed for leg but then couldn't have due to colic) before reinjuring the tendon on box rest. We were not going to win. So he also had 2 weeks of treatment before we had to give in.

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